Patience is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties.

Toleration is an act or instance of tolerating, esp. of what is not actually approved; forbearance: to show toleration toward the protesters.

Wikipedia help me to explain more of the meaning of "patience" and dictionary.com helped on the noun "toleration". What made me go into it this time is because I am facing a quite sad issue yet shouldn't be sad and must be tolerating kind of situation. It's just so hard when patience and tolerance combine. *When the power combines, it gets stronger and stronger and it sometimes make people have the difficulty and problem arises just a glimpse of an eye.

Sometimes it's just so sad that everything might be plan in hand couldn't just exist or no one could careless about it as either no one knows about the plan before hand or they just tend to ignore and thinking, "nevermind, it's FINE.. he/she will understand". These freaking long weekend for me isn't that bad after all but it somehow got worse till I would just want to stay at home ROT and wait for the day to work and after a sec now, I rather not work but just to stay home like those college holidays I used to have. How sad is that? Chinese say " MAO DUN " i hate those feelings, it somehow made me quite stress about it.

Speaking of patience and toleration just now, I find myself learn more about it and it kinda suffocate me sometimes. Hell yeah. It's just so hard to be so patience n tolerating at the same time when you have no choice and wanted to just scream out loud and just scold it out but you just can't. Because it ain't the right choice to do anymore for me. Problem arise of me, I tried to solve it myself, people or friends or close ones don't understand it first than they start giving me those faces, raise their voices at me without asking at first, how come or what happen? * okay, I am just giving some kind of example, don't perasan as I have a freedom of speech here in my own tiny little space. * I have been playing quite a good role lately to please them yet sometimes its just so disappointing like the state I am now. Hi HI hI !! THIEN LEE.. are you back already? .. when your back, everything will be so great.. the emo-ness in her will fade, the complaints that she have will fade too. I am so not the me right now.

I guess, I have come down to this certain limit or emo-ness of mine is because of a very big issues I will be facing now and in the future. Close ones will understand what i meant .. so this issue + the tolerating + the patience = I can't help it no longer but I still have to go for it. I just feel like shouting, cry all out and have a good sleep without the worries that I have worried about for days which I shouldn't have and this care or love that I want. Such a good night but it end upp quite disappointing but frankly to say, your right beside me I am super duper happy but somehow theres something lacking in there. See, how my thoughts are? It's just so messed up. God please help me!

Only god knows what I meant, what I want, what I need, what I wish and what I have.



God bless and I want to congratulate my bfs best friend has turn to a daddy yesterday . He and his wife have a beautiful angel 20.09.09 naming her as Alexis Lee. She is so beautiful from god. Congratulations to Mr & Mrs. Lee, you guys are going to be such great parents and will bring her up in the way that you guys have always wanted to. God bless. and I should pay a visit to meet this angel of theirs with my bf real soon. Pictures showing baby Alexis, I stole it from facebook, I guess her daddy is uploading right now. more and more pictures up. this is the best two showing his cute little angel sleeping without the worries, with all the care. I feel so happy for her !!!!! emo-ness is back.. SHOOO... grrrrr..





nyways, off to bed now! and SELAMAT HARI RAYA to all the muslims :D

Labels: the day that I've been wishing for