just shut up

Saturday, March 28, 2009,4:33:00 PM

The Life of 3187

Dear boyfriend whom Lee loves much,

Today is our 1 yr 5 months @ 17 months anniversary and I would of course love to greet a happy anniversary for both of us for still standing strong together side by side no matter what hardship that have come to us for such a period time. I know this for some people is kinda just a short time together or just a starting of everything but to me, I don't feel anything of those. I felt like we've known each other for more than this 17 months.

Not quite remember how did we know each other and when is the first time we talk to each other but I know, all of these getting to know each other names is because of our group of friends whom always hang out with him in his pool cafe last time. Once we are free, we are always there at his shop for pool or just to hang out and gather around with friends :D. I believed that they are alot of memories there left behind for each and one of us. All of the past that we have met and hang out with each other are just the meaning of being "friends". He have his own life, and of course, I have my own life. BUT I can't deny that, there isn't any crush towards him a couple of years before just that its just not that strong after all.

It all started during the year 2007 past mid year, during my 2 weeks college holidays, my friends still has lesson and are at Bandar, no one to hang out with so hung out with katak, darrell and my boyfriend and his fellow good friends. That time, we always hang out at Indah Damai, a very small comfy restaurant but not much variety of foods. Just that the environment suits everything. other than that we always hang out together at WyWy restaurant just for tea. Just a couple of times hang out together till than I slowly realise that he is a single man for few months already and those feelings gets stronger and stronger.

I kept quiet all along, by just keeping attention on the way he talks, sense of humour - he have got, the way he smile and laugh, the way of being so comfy and not thinking about his past with his friends.. talking all the way and realising he is quite a strong guy who manage to let go of his 8 yrs relationship with his previous girlfriend. It's not a happy ending after all as 8 yrs of relationship is a long one. Till than, felt really pity for them and didn't think much what will happen next and just let it flow.

Days and days of hang out, the feelings got stronger and stronger but wouldn't dare to fall in love just like that with another after my own history that has just past for like 9 - 10 months ago. Those feelings are just too scared and maybe *phobia* about being in a relationship. scared one day I will fall again into the same old trap that I had experience before. Told myself not to think too much and just leave it back and doesn't want to step into the relationship path right away just like that. Seeing me in the outside I am a strong girl, your wrong, because deep inside me, I am not that strong that you thought.

During that very week before October 28, the first day, to my surprise he messaged me asking whether I am using this handphone line by spelling my name incorrectly! haha.. he spelled it "THIAN LEE" that's so sad but I didn't mind because alot of people spelled it wrongly though. *small case* .. From than we msged each other and till that day he told me that he wants to go after me so actually we kinda click with each other.. talked alot that very night and share alot of things. We've been messaging and talking for a week than finally he asked for a chance than yeah, we got together :D Our story all begins on October 28th. *muahs*

So whenever 28^th reaches, it’s an extra important day for me and him, why did I say extra it’s because every single day is an important day and special day for us and I know we enjoy it a lot, every single day! I remember he message saying.. Dear, remember what did Siew Pei wrote on her facebook as her status? .. She say “Loving me is your full time job” than he continue saying this to me . “Loving you is my full time job AND taking good care of you is my full time job too” – I LOVE YOU because I have the same feeling towards you too.

Through all the hard times that we’ve been through I believed we have grown more and learn more and I also believed this would improve our relationship and moving to the next step. I am not fully prepared for what problem we are going to face but I know you will always side me no matter what happens. No matter I got angry and became unreasonable, I know you will still sayang me and would never want to let anything more happen between us. I love you! Remember if there’s any problem, please talk things out. A very short yet kinda long blog especially for you my dear, hope you get to read my blog talking about you!. I MISS YOU A LOT :P

Labels: counting on and on, i love